Networking in Surrey

Thanks to the guys at streetwisenews.com for sending me these Top 20 Peter Kay Quotes. Be warned: they're not always PC, but some are quite perceptive, others are witty, and I'd hazard a guess that more will appeal to men than to women...

  1. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
  2. At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
  3. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
  4. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
  5. You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
  6. Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
  7. You never know where to look when eating a banana.
  8. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
  9. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
  10. Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
  11. It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
  12. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
  13. Old ladies can eat more than you think.
  14. You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
  15. Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
  16. You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
  17. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  18. I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
  19. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
  20. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a "use by" date?

Views: 152

Add a Comment

You need to be a member of Networking in Surrey to add comments!

Join Networking in Surrey

This Month's Sponsors (Links)

These NiS MEMBERS help us keep NiS free for you! Click the ads for info and offers...

Meet David Reavely on NiS...

With a diploma in nutritional medicine, PE teacher turned Food Detective’ Dave Reavely detects food intolerances and identifies how your diet and lifestyle affect your health, weight and fitness - and what to do about it! Click for details

Meet John Gower on NiS...

Local Networking Works! Start boosting your business TODAY... Please click the ad for details

Meet Rebecca Newenham...

 Freeing up your time to focus on growing your business... We specialise in helping businesses of all sizes get ahead by providing you with expert outsourced business and marketing support as you need it. Call 01483 332220 today!

Meet Barbara Murrell on NiS...

 Become a founder member of the Athena Network's new BORDON group, launching on 26th June. Build your network in a supportive, encouraging and fun community of women, with monthly meetings, on-going training and special events

Meet Paul Webster on NiS...
 Meet 100's of local business leaders, Council members and the media to raise your profile, generate new leads & win business directly or via partnerships & joint ventures... Stands are selling fast - so call Paul now on 07778 836405

Meet Keith Grover on NiS...

Read our free daily GLOBAL NETWORKING NEWS & TIPS...

MyTeam Network takes all your networking to the next level by addressing the space between meetings - it's 'joined-up networking for grown-up people'!

Become a Sponsor and promote your business by taking an ad  - seen by over 2,000 Members, 1,500 unique visitors  with 6,000+ pageviews every month...

"Thanks for getting Google on my side! It's  so nice when you can see a return on your investment."
Emma Selby Farnham Hub

Sean Usher Interviews Keith Grover Part 1 &2...

WATCH A VIDEO of Keith telling Sean Usher all about NiS

© 2019   Created by Admin.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service